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In the early hours of day In the early stages of grief In the early years of my life I find myself. Quietly sitting up in bed, not really asleep, not really awake. Just quietly staring, quietly passing time. My fingernails caked with blood from unconscious scratching. My mind numbed with meaningless songs and sitcoms […]
It’s been so long since I’ve blogged, and so much has happened since then. For starters, I completed my O Levels, and don’t have anything to study for, and in fact I got my results back last month and did pretty well, so that’s a relief thiin more ways than one in terms of progression […]
Originally posted on Thought Catalog:
Because in the words of that wonderful CitiBank ad, Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy marshmallows, which are kind of the same thing. 1. Buy the coffee you really want. … not the homeless latté you fix up at the milk bar so you don’t blow your whole…
So previously, I talked about my eating disorder, EDNOS, and then more recently flat-out bulimia. Last week I was at a sports day event with my school and I felt so sick from all the laxatives I had taken, not to mention I was severely dehydrated, and so I collapsed and was really ill in […]
i feel like i’m drinking paint sometimes. thick, mushy, swirly- i know that we all are. — yours seems so diluted sometimes. i ball up envy and fear rolling over each other — my sighs are echoing through the house again. heavy breaths that float through doors and whisper regret.
i’m not sleeping. properly too busy handling the night calls. my silhouette casts soft shadows all over the wooden of my floor. my gut vibrates miserably again knees weak, shaking like a leaf. everything swirls and swirls and swirls- don’t wake me up please. i’m not sleeping. properly- too busy answering the night calls. too […]
Mondays: iPod and homework. Tuesdays: Bananas and yogurt. Wednesdays: Yoga and Coke. Thursdays: Long bus rides and watermelon. Fridays: Nacho cheese Doritos and apple juice. Saturdays: Oatmeal and coffee. Sundays: Cycling and sunshine.
I bought them. I bought laxatives. I bought laxatives- and I ate them. It started out as a once a week thing if I needed to binge, but slowly got addicted to them. I doubled my laxative intake. I stared at my now visible ribcage in the mirror. Soon I noticed my shoulder bones popping […]
when chair legs scratch us when dried lips become the better of us when we’re falsely lighting the end of us suck it in- empty, strong, flowing– to the currents, all over in my veins, my beating blood when we close our eyes and inhale ragged breaths, choking ghosts slip surreptitiously down our cheeks- — […]