In the early hours of day In the early stages of grief In the early years of my life I find myself. Quietly sitting up in bed, not really asleep, not really awake. Just quietly staring, quietly passing time. My fingernails caked with blood from unconscious scratching. My mind numbed with meaningless songs and sitcoms […]
i feel like i’m drinking paint sometimes. thick, mushy, swirly- i know that we all are. — yours seems so diluted sometimes. i ball up envy and fear rolling over each other — my sighs are echoing through the house again. heavy breaths that float through doors and whisper regret.
i’m not sleeping. properly too busy handling the night calls. my silhouette casts soft shadows all over the wooden of my floor. my gut vibrates miserably again knees weak, shaking like a leaf. everything swirls and swirls and swirls- don’t wake me up please. i’m not sleeping. properly- too busy answering the night calls. too […]
when chair legs scratch us when dried lips become the better of us when we’re falsely lighting the end of us suck it in- empty, strong, flowing– to the currents, all over in my veins, my beating blood when we close our eyes and inhale ragged breaths, choking ghosts slip surreptitiously down our cheeks- — […]
You were so beautiful And I looked like a monster I think about this everyday. And these are my notes of the everyday.
I’ve just come home from a formal school occasion and I’m feeling pretty low; just penned this down in the midst of my embarrassment and anxiety. the girls are brutally pretty brutally acclaimed brutally judgemental. if their poisonous eyes could kill me i would die, and be buried in my shame. i’m worthless i’m ugly […]
Waking up two or three times in the hollow silence Nightmares of consumption and butter Forcing a body-my body out of bed– To hit 400 on a machine- For the sake of an apple. Pouring sweetened acid down a throat- my throat More than a few times a day, I am burning Hands shaking, shovelling […]
These poisoned days Breathe fire with hollow sighs And whispers of disappointment Burning all over with cursory glances- Yet the fingers are icy- icicles Smudging the pages of an existence that was Carved- so perfectly Because the light is gone, I don’t know why! — These poisoned days watch lifeblood trickle Down The streets with […]
in this sea of busy lives and rushing humans, i will seek your face behind these closed partitions that are separating us i will have you memorised by heart and you will press your songs to my chest you will be the pavement beneath my feet. the doors will slide open, and the autonomy […]